Not For The Reasons Everyone Thinks
by Momo-Flying-Lemur
Summary: Why does Raphael wish to be leader so badly? Is it really just jealousy? Is it the need to feel in control and to feel tough? Or is it much more deeper than anyone thinks? Here we explore the reason as to why Raphael wants to be leader. This is my own silly headcanon but I can't help but think this is why. This can be any verse but 2003/2012 are the most probable in this case.


Raphael would never admit the real reasoning behind why he wanted to be leader. It would be a secret he'd carry to the grave. Nobody needed to know and he doubted that anyone would even care. Besides the reasoning was just about the sappiest reasoning as they came. He had a rep to protect, and if he ever let it slip why he wanted to be leader no one would ever let him live it down.

For you see, the red masked turtle never wished to be leader for his own benefit or gain. He was also never jealous of Leonardo for being leader. It was in fact, very much the opposite of what Leo thought, and of what everyone else thought as well. But they could believe what they wanted to believe, Raph knew exactly why he wanted to be the leader of the team. It was his deepest, darkest, and most preciously guarded secret.

Raph wasn't about to correct their thoughts, for he simply didn't care what they thought. If they thought he was jealous of Leo then so be it. But it was ridiculous that everyone thought that Raph was jealous of his older brother. Everyone thought they knew him so well, but the cold hard truth was that they didn't. Not even Raph's partner in crime Casey Jones. He didn't know the Sai wielding ninja as well as he thought he did.

Unable to spill his secret, yet wanting to share it so he didn't go insane in the membrane, the rough and tumble ninja decided to tell his woes to the stars above him. He sat on a rooftop gazing intently at the thousands of shimmering stars above. The cool night air nipping at his skin and lowering his core body temperature. He wrapped his arms around himself and let out a deep sigh, his breath billowing in a puff of vapor in front of his face.

And thus he spoke to the stars every night for years. Letting them know why he wished to be leader. For you see…

Raphael only wanted to protect his older brother. Raph knew Leo like he knew his own weapons, and that was saying a lot. When Leo was picked as the leader, Raph knew what that would spell out. He knew Leo so well, he knew his older brother would charge into any danger to protect them all.

He knew Leo would risk everything for them. He knew Leo would give his life for any of them without a second thought. He knew that Leo would DIE for anyone in a heartbeat if that meant he'd save them from harms way. This is why Raph desired to be the leader. To save Leonardo from himself… Leo was too important to the family to lose.

Don and Mikey might have Raph as a big brother, but Raph only had one big brother and that was Leo. And he couldn't lose him, to lose Leo would be to lose the raging inferno that blazed within Raphael's warrior spirit. He'd certainly drown without his older brother. Yes Don and Mikey had two older brothers in Raph and Leo. But for Raph, Leo was the only one he got. And he'd protect him to the bitter end, no matter what.

If anyone should risk their shell for the team, it should be himself. Raph didn't want any of his brothers to ever fall in battle to save anyone else. Raph knew it was the job of a leader to sacrifice himself for the well being of his followers.

This is something only Raph wanted to shoulder, none of his brothers should have to shoulder that type of burden. He was tough enough to endure the crushing weight that came with the acceptance of knowing that one day, he might have to sacrifice himself for his friends and family.

Besides… everyone would find a way to cope and move on without him. Raph knew that his family wouldn't fall apart if he were gone, there were plenty of stronger warriors out there that could pick up the slack if he perished. He could easily be replaced, but someone like Leonardo could never be replaced, not in millions upon millions of years.

Leo was unique, disciplined, in control, the perfect son and brother, and Splinter's pride and joy. He was loved and cherished by all who knew him, a turtle with a heart of gold and a soul made of platinum. If he were to perish, Raph knew they'd all fall apart. All those close calls with Leonardo almost paying with his life to protect his family proved as much.

They had almost fallen apart without Leo, so many times Raph had to bear witness to his older brother cling to life, lying broken and battered. Wishing that it was him in Leo's place, wishing he was the one suffering so Leo wasn't. He couldn't stand seeing Leo like that, he'd seen it far too many times. Even once was far too many times for him.

Every time he had seen Leo fighting to stay alive and with them all, only caused Raph to feel more and more sick to his stomach. He hated it with a burning passion, he couldn't even begin to describe how much seeing Leo grievously wounded got to him.

He was never jealous of his older brother. He only wanted to protect him, for Raph knew the burden Leo would carry once he became leader. The burden of putting everyone else's life before his own. But Leo didn't deserve such a heavy burden, that was something that should be reserved for someone else.

Someone who was a soldier, someone who was a shield to his family, someone who would walk through fire and flames, someone who would fight a seven nation army, someone who would protect and watch the backs of everyone that he loved no matter how much agony he would endure along the way.

Raphael knew that someone was him. And yet still, he wasn't the leader, that wasn't his burden to carry, even though he pled his woes to the stars and wished that he was. He'd never be leader and he could never save Leonardo from himself.

In the end, Raph could only hope he would be strong enough to protect Leo, and one day lay down his life for him.

No one knew and they never would.

Raphael wanted to be leader, but not for the reasons everyone else thinks.


End file.
